Or, How I Spent My Afternoon in the Theater of the Absurd
I’ve seen through two wars, been to a county fair, and watched a goat
roping but I’ve never seen anything like the Senate hearing at the
Arizona State Capitol today. The hearing, scheduled by Senator
Jack Harper (R) Chairman of the Senate Committee On Government
Accountability And Reform, sought to clarify election integrity issues
(see, Election Integrity in Arizona is a Bi-Partisan Reform) involving mysteriously appearing
votes in a 2004 Republican primary election. Chairman Harper’s
subpoena overcame a questionable refusal to appear by County Attorney
Andrew Thomas. Defying the subpoena issued by Chairman Harper
could have brought contempt charges against Thomas and Maricopa County
Recorder Helen Purcell and Elections Director Karen Osborne whom Thomas
had earlier enjoined not to appear. Watching with incredulity at
the proceedings were several election integrity activist groups, some
lobbyists for electronic voting machines, a representative of Arizona
Clean Elections, print, television, radio, and independent media,
family and many other concerned citizens. Interest in election
integrity has grown in Arizona around what may make Maricopa County,
the fourth largest county in the country, the poster child for election
fraud. The hearing room was filled to overflowing requiring a
partition to be opened to accommodate the increasing observers.
The last time I saw a group of people self-destruct like this in front
of an audience was when I was at the circus where I watched one of
those little clown cars come careening out from the curtains, squishing
through the elephant dung, crashing into the center ring, and sending
them flying in all directions.
Illustration by Mark Poutenis, The Phoenix New Times
(Clockwise from bottom: County Attorney Andy Thomas, County Recorder
Helen Purcell, House Speaker Jim Weiers, Senate President Ken Bennett,
and County Elections Director Karen Osborne)
Round One
First up was a summary presentation of the report by elections expert,
Dr. Douglas Jones from
the University of Iowa, by Sen. Harper’s research analyst, Kimberly
Martineau. Ms. Martineau’s PowerPoint presentation deftly and clearly
explained the major conclusions from Dr. Jones’ report in which he
concluded that, “Without empirical examination of a random sample of
voted ballots, there is no way to decide . . . [if] the ballots have
been altered . . . [or] that ballots were miscounted by poorly
calibrated machines.” Professor Jones went on in his report to
say,
“Election officials appear to lack fundamental knowledge of how their
election machinery operates . . .”. Which brings us to the first
unsworn testimony of the day by Maricopa County Elections Director
Karen Osborne. Ms. Osborne, who looks for all the world like a kindly
grandmother straight out of central casting, began by taking questions
from Chairman Harper. Chairman Harper, who was exceptionally well
prepared for his hearing and masterfully conducted the questioning
bringing to mind a younger version of the late Senator Sam Irvin of
Watergate fame. Sen. Irvin would play the country bumpkin
backwoods
lawyer role, disarming his prey before he ripped his adversary into
tiny pieces. Chairman Harper, in a similar disarming way, asked the
elections director, straight up, if she believed the elections of 2002
were honestly and accurately counted. She replied that yes, they
were. Chairman Harper then asked about the elections in 2004 and
received the same simple answer without explanation or qualification.
The questioning of the witness by Chairman Harper, who was joined in
the questioning by committee members Senator Thayer Verschoor (R) and
newly appointed Senator Paula Aboud (D), then elicited some of the most
uncanny and unintentional responses by Ms. Osborne.
I think Karen Osborne was sincere in the answers she gave to the
Committee. When asked if she had read Dr. Jones report, remember the
report that basically said you haven’t a clue about how to administer
elections or what your job is, she paused and stammered out an answer
like, “Well, have I actually done an in-depth reading of the report,
well, I uh, ahem, no, actually I’ve just skimmed, cough, over the
top.” However, it seemed as though we had really journeyed
through the
looking glass as Ms. Osborne’s testimony laid out, in detail, as stated
in Dr. Jones report, unintentionally I’m sure, what I can only say is
one of the better arguments for why we should never vote on electronic
voting machines again . . . ever! She was flummoxed into talking
about
how the different inks in pens could affect whether a machine would
count a vote, if the machine was calibrated correctly, if the lens
wasn’t scratched or dirty, if the ballot was inserted sideways or
upside down, something about paper weight and pencil erasures, and
whether someone used crayon or eyebrow pencil or Sharpie® pens and that
mail-in ballots were all weird because people used all sorts of things
and didn’t follow directions, etc., etc., etc. She compared the
voting
machines to a purchase of two cars, two Lexus’ no less, that everyone
knows that two cars off the same factory line won’t be the same. That’s
right, Karen, I really want to enter the polling booth with my
fingers crossed hoping that I got the good machine today. Maybe
machines made on Wednesday are better than those on Monday or Friday
and we could learn the serial numbers so we could . . . Oh,
good
grief!
When asked about the whereabouts of the ballots in question and their
storage conditions, Ms. Osborne launched into a fantastic description
of a cement block house somewhere, she wasn’t sure where (confirmed now
by County Treasurer David Schwiekert that the ballots are not in the
County Treasurer’s vault which is required by law), that had no windows
or air conditioning and that the ballots were being subjected to
temperatures of over 200°F and the humidity and the ballots could be
unreadable by now some sixteen months after the election!
When asked by Chairman Harper if she thought that the ballots should be
allowed to be inspected, regardless of unknown alleged condition, Ms.
Osborne paused and answered as though she were about to plead her 5th
amendment rights. She took a breath then refused to answer the
question. She instead referred the question to the County Attorney for
an answer. Well, ya coulda heard a pin drop as the audience just
stared in concerned amazement and perspicacity, instantly grasping the
implications of Election Director Osborne’s blatant dodging of a simple
question.
Round Two
The not so artful question dodging was then displayed by Maricopa
County Recorder, Helen Purcell. To say that she came to the podium
posing as a “dittohead” saying, “What she said,” would be just a bit,
but not much of, an oversimplification. In fact, when asked some of
the same questions Ms. Purcell either plaintively turned to Ms.
Osborne, who reports to her, or simply didn’t know the answer to
questions she should have. Ms. Osborne didn’t help her boss’ seeming
incompetence much when she leapt from her seat, rushing to the podium a
number of times to rescue Ms. Purcell from questions she hadn’t a clue
about. When asked by Chairman Harper if she had read the Jones report
Ms. Purcell, like Ms. Osborne, hemmed and hawed before saying, “No, no
she hadn’t.” I’ll bet you my first born child that the introductory
briefing given by Chairman Harper’s research analyst was the most
in-depth reading of the Jones report that either of these two senior
elections officials in Maricopa County had ever done. Recalling my
previous life in “Corporate World,” had I delivered such a stunning
display of incompetence and ignorance of the facts before senior
management with the value (in this case the trust of the people) of the
company at stake in a major presentation such as at this Senate
hearing, I would have been given a cardboard box and escorted out of
the building by the end of business.
The Main Event
Osborne and Purcell only set the stage for the real star of this
theater of the absurd, County Attorney Andrew Thomas. By now the
committee members expressions were ranging from passive attention to
piqued interest. That would soon change to pissed-off incredulity at
the performance of the County Attorney. Listening to Andrew Thomas
answer questions was like trying to nail Jello® to a wall! The
gallery
and the committee strained rationality, reason, and finally their
patience in trying to follow the twisted, circuitous, circular,
obfuscations, and stonewalling answers given by Thomas. Chairman
Harper began the questioning with Sen. Verschoor joining in providing
intuitive and insightful follow-ups designed to elicit at least the
semblance of a straight answer from Thomas. No luck! Mr.
Thomas
veered off into accusations of illegality in the use of Chairman
Harper’s subpoena power, resoundingly dismissed by the Senate Ethics
Committee just two days before. Thomas questioned the independence of
Dr. Harper’s report erroneously citing that it was entirely paid for by
an independent weeklyThe Phoenix New Times. In fact, Senate
President
Ken Bennet has picked up the expenses for the report with The Phoenix
New Times only paying travel expenses. Thomas continued his
obfuscating attack by trying to impugn the bone fides of Dr. Jones to
which Chairman Harper stopped Mr. Thomas saying that, “Dr. Jones
qualifications as a recognized expert in electronic elections has been
well established. Since he is not here to question your qualifications
as an attorney, I will not allow you to question Dr. Jones’
qualifications.” Mr. Thomas opined about what value would there
be in
inspecting the ballots (Like, maybe, finding the truth! And anyway,
since the county elections officials have such true belief in their
system, that the ballots have been honestly and accurately counted, why
wouldn’t Thomas want to get this monkey off his back?). In a display
of contempt or ignorance of the numerous statements by all involved in
this investigation, that it is not about changing the results of a
legally certified election, that it is about the integrity of all
elections themselves, Thomas droned that the effort and costs involved
were not justified because the election could not be reversed anyway.
Except for Chairman Harper’s skilled management of the hearings, Mr.
Thomas would have gone on ad infinitum, ad nauseum sticking to his
strategy to deliberately say nothing of value to the committee.
Failing to elicit substantive answers from Thomas, Chairman Harper
drilled Mr. Thomas about his “sandbagging” the Chairman when he
previously sought to gain access to the ballots for Dr. Jones’
evaluation. In the early stages of his investigations Sen. Harper was
told by County Treasurer David Schwiekert that he would not release the
ballots without a court order. Sen. Harper was informed by County
Attorney Thomas that he would not oppose a court order to obtain the
ballots of the LD 20 primary. When the court order was filed some days
later, the judge of the court informed Sen. Harper that the County
Attorney was now standing in opposition to the order. In effect,
County Attorney Andrew Thomas lied to Sen. Harper. Mr. Thomas has
further gone on record with news media and anyone who would listen
accusing Sen. Harper of “bizarre and erratic behavior” in a blatant
attempt to marginalize Sen. Harper’s investigation. Mr. Thomas
vocalized his rants in whatever venue would report them. Asked
repeatedly about his role in flip-flopping on the court order, Thomas
tried to degrade the hearing into a display of invective and spleen.
Chairman Harper admonished Thomas that, “This is not about you. This
is not about I (sic). This is not about the two candidates. This is
about the integrity of elections!” The audience erupted into applause.
Appealing to a nobler purpose by Chairman Harper didn’t even phase
Thomas’ outlandish and dubious strategy. He simply would not answer
the question of the day asked repeatedly by Chairman Harper and Senator
Verschoor, “Will you allow inspection of the ballots?” Thomas went
round in circles charging that inspection of the ballots was at the
direction of his clients, without naming his clients, who are the
county elections officials, Osborne and Purcell. It was Osborne and
Purcell who had originally referred answering the question to their
attorney, who is Mr. Thomas. Repeatedly asked the question, “Do you
see any reason why the ballots should not be allowed to be inspected?”
by Sen. Verschoor and repeatedly led down circuitous paths nowhere
approaching an answer to the question, Sen. Verschoor burst out
exclaiming, “It’s a simple yes or no question, sir! Will you allow
inspection of the ballots?” Again, obstinate and unfazed, Mr. Thomas
ducked the question. Owing to time constraints and other commitments,
Chairman Harper gaveled the almost three hour hearing to a close with
another hearing to be scheduled later.
The more I know, the more I know I don’t know.
Why did three senior Maricopa County elections officials, one elected
and two appointed, refuse to answer the essential questions of a Senate
Committee On Governmental Accountability And Reform? What are they
trying to hide, here? During the questioning, the requirements on how
long ballots must be retained were discussed. For county elections the
law states that the ballots must be saved for six-months, for federal
elections, 22 months. So, the ballots are still available … or
are they? No one is allowed to inspect them, to see if they are in the
vault (which they aren’t) or in a secret secure location with
Vice-President Cheney or where the Hell they are! Does the fact that
there are other more significant candidates and offices on the ballot
than a little ole’ Republican primary in a largely yuppie filled
district have any sinister significance? Could other races be thrown
into suspicion? Why is newly elected Maricopa County Attorney Andrew
Thomas willing to undergo closer and closer scrutiny and put his
reputation on the line to block a puny primary recount? Why didn’t
Senate President Bennet just pony up for the project in the first place
since it was clearly a good governance issue that could be politically
advantageous and available on the cheap? We are not much closer to
answers to those questions, but we may be uncovering a larger truth as
we step back to “see the whole board!”
What I’ve written today is meant to be an entertaining, informative,
incredulous, first-person description of today’s Senate hearing. To
understand how really horrible this story is becoming and the dangerous
ramifications of new revelations, read John Dougherty’s article in The
Phoenix New Times, “Ballot Boxing” for a thorough analysis of an unfolding scandal of immense ramifications.
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